Satisfaction.....um no

I read the newest In Touch magazine, I love this magazine, and a couple of questions have really stuck with me, What are you pursuing in life? and, Have you found the satisfaction you seek, or is there always a vague sense of discontent in your soul? Wow for both, these both describe me.

When I read this I realized that I was an opportunist. It doesn't take much for me to go after something. I see something that looks fun and dive into it. Or for a job I see something that looks interesting and I give up on what I am doing whether I am good at it or not or even like it. I think I might be on to job number 40 or so.

I am and always will be a recovering alcoholic, 8 years strong. For most of those 8 years I truly believed that I had quit myself. Wow was that selfish of me. It was Jesus!!!! Jesus!!! Jesus!!

I also recently quit chewing tobacco after 10 long years, and that took me roughly 10 tries to do. Oddly enough, I know, it wasn't until I asked Jesus and gave him my full trust on it that I quit.

I have struggled my entire adult life with this thought that I am here to do something big, really big. I keep telling myself that's why I keep changing jobs so much, that I keep inching my way closer to what He brought me here for.

These two questions have made it even harder for me. There is nothing, I mean nothing that really fulfills me and has kept my pursuit long term.

On the next page of In Touch there is more thoughts that gave me realization about this matter. It asks whether I am taking matters into my own hands or releasing the circumstance to almighty God? My whole life has been me doing what ever I WANT to do, instead of what HE WANTS me to do.

So how do I change the constant circle of discontent and failure, give in. Give in to Him with everything.

Seek His way and His timing. Anything else will be destructive.

Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

Faith and Sweat

Final Thoughts

This had to be the best team put together, especially for a mission trip. I have heard many stories about how after about the third day everyone is ready to choke hold each other. Not on this one. It almost seemed as though the longer we were there the more fun we had and the more we connected on our common goal.....LIFE CHANGE. Yes we all missed our families and homes, but we were there to help this orphanage with these kids.

I learned a few things from Siguinde in the many conversations that I had with him. Surprising to me but they are very well dressed. Siguinde said it's because that is all they can control.

He said that drugs and alcohol aren't a problem. This definitely surprised me because where I come from when bad things happen you find drugs or the liquor store. He said they can't afford it and it's really looked down on in their culture. Go to the Lord he said “you will find all you need in Him”. I was blown away to hear this. He taught me a lot. I am thankful for meeting him.

Haiti does not produce it's own power. They share or borrow it from Dominican Republic. Power outages are almost daily because of it. No one seems to mind though. They know it will come back on so they don't worry about it.

The kids desperately want to go to school. They want to have a better life. They want to learn, play games, and see other kids. They don't want to end up on the street in poverty or stuck in a prostitution ring or worse.

I look around and I see devastation and destruction but you would never tell by looking at the faces of the people. You see joy, hope and contentment. The Haitian people are incredibly gracious and thankful. I have a lot to learn from them. To me it seems they have nothing but when you talk to them they have all they need. They also don't expect anything. They seem to know that if they need it, it will become available to them.

In driving through town I also saw a lot of the “tap taps”, (taxis), they were painted beautiful colors with pictures of stories from the Bible. They also had verses painted on them. I saw a lot of “merci Jesus”, which is beautiful anyway but to see it amongst the rubble was pretty powerful to me.

A couple other things that caught my eye were on a wall was painted WE NEED HELP, but in the background was a wooden cross.....wow. The other was in the middle of a turnabout there was this like 20 foot diameter globe with three hands holding it up, that really spoke volumes to me of why we were there. Someone else needed our help and the Lord put it in our hearts to go and help them but also to see so many different countries from around the world descend on Haiti to assist in the recovery of the poorest nation....Thank You Jesus.

As we arrived the words that came to mind were sadness, destruction, horror and heartbreak. As we leave those words have been transformed to love, peace, content and joy.

In the end there are only two kinds of people: those who are lost, and those who have been found.

Everyone asks me “would you go back”? In a heartbeat!!

This experience was incredible and will change my view of people, life and God. Thank you Crossing Church for setting up our orphanage. Thank you to the team for welcoming me into your hearts. Most of all thank you Jesus for allowing me to see and treat people the way You do.

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.  Acts 20:24

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.  Romans 13:8

Faith and Sweat

Day 4

Very mixed emotions day.  Today will be our last day at the orphanage.  I am missing the sounds and smiles of my own family but it will be tough to leave.  Kind of odd, but I don't miss the comforts of home much.  I am really surprised how quickly we grew closer to these kids.

On the way to the orphanage Mike talks gives a good sermon and prayer that really fires me up and gives me extra (not that I needed any) motivation.

Renee and Kevin have a good talk with Didie this morning to find out where the most need is.  Some of the biggest needs are beds.  They also could use a stove and a fridge.  Didie explained that most girls become prostitutes or are sex slaves.  That was really hard to hear.

There is still plenty to do today so different ways we go.  Christy, Chad and I dig out the well where it has pretty much been filled in by the dirt dug up from the new septic.  The rest of the team is helping with the cement work.  It's another hot one today but we are all really working our hardest today since we know this is it.

Finishing touches are being put on the exterior and interior so the kids can move in soon.  One little pickup brings three big loads of concrete block that will be used as the walls for the septic and a couple other projects.  The men here do really good work.  Especially considering it's all by hand.

The rest of the day is spent with the kids.  We just play!!!  It's a lot of fun.  There are kids everywhere just laughing and running around.  Some of the girls are doing Bri and Renee's hair.  Of course many pictures being taken especially by the kids themselves.

The time has come for us to go and Elizabeth gathers us all with the interpreter to give us a few parting words.  She tells us she and the kids are thankful and grateful for all the hard work done.  She is more thankful for the interaction with the kids.  She says the kids say they had a lot of fun with us and they want us to stay.   The kids won't stop giving hugs and fives.  Quite a few or the kids are in tears which makes it extra hard to leave.

The ride back to the hotel is a mix of smiles, tears and stories.

Tonight Didie takes us out for a nice seafood dinner to thank us for our hard work.  This trip for me was about new experiences and food is definitely one of them.  I am not real big on seafood but here goes.  The appetizers are fried shrimp wantons, fried tuna roll ups and some kind of veggie seafood hush puppie thing.  WOW are they all good!!!!  Now dinner.  Grilled Sarde.  The whole fish.  Bone, head and tail.  This is delicious!!! So juicy and tender and the flavor yummy!!!  The restaurant is a beautiful and outdoors.  A nice warm evening with good food and people is a nice way to end our amazing trip.