What's flowin between my heart and mind

What's flowin between my heart and mind

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Satisfaction.....um no

I read the newest In Touch magazine, I love this magazine, and a couple of questions have really stuck with me, What are you pursuing in life? and, Have you found the satisfaction you seek, or is there always a vague sense of discontent in your soul? Wow for both, these both describe me.

When I read this I realized that I was an opportunist. It doesn't take much for me to go after something. I see something that looks fun and dive into it. Or for a job I see something that looks interesting and I give up on what I am doing whether I am good at it or not or even like it. I think I might be on to job number 40 or so.

I am and always will be a recovering alcoholic, 8 years strong. For most of those 8 years I truly believed that I had quit myself. Wow was that selfish of me. It was Jesus!!!! Jesus!!! Jesus!!

I also recently quit chewing tobacco after 10 long years, and that took me roughly 10 tries to do. Oddly enough, I know, it wasn't until I asked Jesus and gave him my full trust on it that I quit.

I have struggled my entire adult life with this thought that I am here to do something big, really big. I keep telling myself that's why I keep changing jobs so much, that I keep inching my way closer to what He brought me here for.

These two questions have made it even harder for me. There is nothing, I mean nothing that really fulfills me and has kept my pursuit long term.

On the next page of In Touch there is more thoughts that gave me realization about this matter. It asks whether I am taking matters into my own hands or releasing the circumstance to almighty God? My whole life has been me doing what ever I WANT to do, instead of what HE WANTS me to do.

So how do I change the constant circle of discontent and failure, give in. Give in to Him with everything.

Seek His way and His timing. Anything else will be destructive.

Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

1 comment:

  1. Nice Rich! I grew up thinking there was always something bigger out there, something more than this, I always had a void and I tried so desperately to fill it with many things, but was always left unsatisfied. I realized a few years ago that my void is filled by nothing except Jesus. And i know now that when i start feeling discontentment and restless I just need to stop and seek the Lord to comfort me. For me, my purpose in life, is so share God with others and to live for Him is all the ways i know how..... After that, jobs and the next big thing don't really matter to me.

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